A Wee Review - Dr Yes by Colin Bateman

DR. YES is the third in the Mystery Man series of books that feature No Alibis Bookstore in Belfast. Picking up where Day of the Jack Russell left off, the still nameless protagonist invites unholy chaos into his life when he allows a shaken and seemingly unhinged crime fiction writer to take cover in his shop. Augustine Wogan, a critically acclaimed scribe lost to obscurity, believes that Dr Yes, a plastic surgeon based in Belfast, is responsible for the death of his wife. And a grisly turn of events soon convinces the mystery man and his pregnant girlfriend/sidekick that there may be more to this case than the ramblings of a confused author.

Bateman maintains his knack for creating a great story enhanced by the kind of comic genius that is guaranteed to make the most dour reader laugh out loud. As the series develops so does the protagonists lists of physical and mental hypochondriacal foibles. But he is forced to overcome his obstacles by the allure of another mystery. And so, pregnant girl wonder in tow, Belfast's premiere private eye and bookseller is back in business. DR. YES is that oh so Northern Irish mix of the bleak and comedic that has become a hallmark of Bateman's work. Another winner.

A Wee Reveiw - Day of the Jack Russell by Colin Bateman

Check out my latest International Thriller Writers article for the low-down on Bateman's second No Alibis book.

Pics and Stuff From No Alibis Events

The latest No Alibis event I attended was Adrian McKinty's Fifty Grand launch on Wednesday the 8th of July. Just over a week ago now. In fact, this time last week, I was nursing a slight hangover.

Like last year's Bloomsday Dead launch, McKinty decided that an actual reading from the book wouldn't be all that impressive in itself. Having read Fifty Grand, I'd have begged to differ. But anyway, McKinty instead told us the story of his visit to cuba and how it birthed the first 100 pages of Fifty Grand. Then he got a bit of a Q&A on the go. And that was excellent! Most of the discussion centred on libel laws and he may or may not have slandered a few people, but I can't quite remember that.

After that he signed a bunch of books, including some spanking reprints of Dead I Well May Be and The Dead Yard in the lovely new Serpent's Tail editions for my good self. And while I queued for my signature I got talking to McKinty's charming mother, aunt and sister. Three wonderful ladies who have actually read my blog!

But the night got better and better, as I joined McKinty, Colin Bateman, Stuart Neville and David Torrans for a few jars after the event. It was a surreal experience for a fanboy like myself, but a bloody enjoyable one too.

Here's a few pics from that night and also a few from the John Connolly and Stuart Neville event that I never got around to posting. And if I can figure out how to upload it, a little video of Stuart Neville. Apologies for the quality. I'm not much of a photographer and I took all the pics and the video with my phone.

Adrian McKinty chatting to the crowd.

Colin Bateman and Adrian McKinty.

Stuart Neville, Colin Bateman, A little bit of Columbo and Adrian McKinty.

John Connolly reading from The Whisperers.

John Connolly signing a copy of The Lovers for a fan.

A short video clip of Stuart Neville.

Dial 64888 for MYSTERY

Edit 18/11/11 -- This number no longer works as described below. Apparently the number has now been hi-jacked for scam purposes. Thanks to the anonymous commenter who brought it to my attention.

Heard it through the grapevine that you can get chapter one of Mystery Man sent to your mobile by texting MYSTERY to 64888. I tried it out myself and it's kosher. Why not have a wee go yourself? Kind of funky to have one of the funniest opening chapters in Northern Irish crime fiction stored on your phone.

I assume this only works if you have a UK mobile phone.

Edit -- Skip over to Declan Burke's Crime Always Pays for a number that works in the Republic of Ireland.

A Wee Review - Mystery Man by Colin Bateman

There’s a new PI in Belfast. His qualifications? He owns No Alibis, a bookshop specialising in crime fiction. Is he a fast-talking, hard-drinking, skirt-chasing tough guy? Um, no. Not at all, really. He’s a bit... well, he’s cut from a different cloth. Oh, and he most definitely is not David Torrans.

Mystery Man is a Belfast crime fiction comedy in which our protagonist (a man with no name) tackles the cases he’s inherited from one of the few ‘real’ PIs in town. Malcolm Carlyle, the proprietor of Private Eye, a private investigation firm situated next to No Alibis bookshop, has apparently skipped town; leaving many a loose end untied. In desperation, his abandoned clients have started trickling into No Alibis for help. Handpicking a few cases, to pass the time more than anything else, the narrator makes a bit of a hobby out of tracking down scorned girlfriends or elusive items of clothing. It’s a nice distraction. Well, it’s nice up until he gets involved in The Case of the Dancing Jew.

This is probably Bateman’s most comedic novel to date, with practically a laugh a paragraph guaranteed. Some of the humour can make you feel a little guilty for laughing. To Bateman, political correctness is something that happens to other people, it would seem. It’s actually quite refreshing. The rest of the humour is of the semi-self-aware, self-deprecating variety that comes from the small revelations of the narrator’s personality. Each little nugget of information gradually builds to form one of the finest protagonists I’ve ever read. Yes, he even gives Dan Starkey a run for his money.

In the early chapters, you could well believe that Bateman has chosen to have a go at writing a modern-day cosy; a slightly bumbling detective logically solves a few minor mysteries. Then the dead bodies start to show up. In abundance. And as Dan Starkey has said more than once, “The jigsaw thickens!” Bateman looks beyond the Troubles (well, apart from a few political wisecracks – it’s set in Belfast, after all) and brings a different evil into the Northern Irish mix. Even at his most light-hearted and funniest, Bateman can’t resist dragging the reader over to his dark side. And, you know, it wouldn’t be half the experience it is if he didn’t.

So, accompanied by a dreadful shop assistant, a beautiful and quirky sidekick and a personality defect or three, Bateman’s latest protagonist really spins a terrific yarn. And it’s possible that he’s taking on Starkey’s torch as the new Bateman series character. In fact, Bateman has announced on his blog that he’s already halfway through the follow up, Day of the Jack Russell. If anybody is going to replace Belfast’s most infamous reporter and anti-hero, let it be the Mystery Man.

You should look forward to April 2009, when you can get your hands on a copy. Mystery Man will give you more laughs than a room full of rabbis and priests. This being the follow up to the more serious Orpheus Rising, you just never know where Bateman is going to take the loyal reader next. You do know that it’s a place worth visiting, though.

Pre-order this book now!

An Interview - Colin Bateman

Colin Bateman is the author of twenty-one novels - starting with Divorcing Jack in 1995 and most recently, Orpheus Rising. He is a former journalist. He also writes screenplays and is about to make his second documentary for BBC NI, ‘Bateman’s Belfast Confidential’.

Q1. What are you writing at the minute?

Very little! I’ve just finished my next novel, Mystery Man, and taking a bit of a break. I’m mostly working on the script for the documentary.

Q2. Can you give us an idea of Colin Bateman’s typical up-to-the-armpits-in-ideas-and-time writing day?

I try to work pretty much 9-5 - i.e. I will generally be in my wee room during those hours, but it doesn’t mean I’m writing all the time. I come from a journalistic background, so I tend to write in furious bursts and edit as I go, so pretty much everything I do, at least as far as the novels are concerned, only goes to one draft. I don’t think my writing would be much better if I took longer on it. I’ll usually pick away at things or do e-mails and stuff at night. The problem is that when your hobby becomes your day job, you never know when to quit!

Q3. What do you do when you’re not writing?

I see a lot of movies - so it’s still work in a way. A big Liverpool fan, and I also play 5-a-side football twice a week, though my knees are growing increasingly dodgy and I don’t know how much longer I’ll last. This will probably be a relief to my team mates, as I’m very greedy.

Q4. Any advice for a greenhorn trying to break into the crime fiction scene?

Just keep plugging away. And remember that a rejection is just one person’s opinion. You’re just looking for one person who likes what you do, and you’re off and running.

Q5. Which crime writer(s) have impressed you this year?

Haven’t read any! When I’m writing I tend not to read, I get influenced too easily. And by influenced I mean steal. But I have the new Robert B Parker on order. He’s a constant reminder that simple is good, and simple works. Not that he’s simple.

Q6. What are you reading right now?

I’m actually reading Stephen Booth’s Black Dog, but that’s for a possible screenplay, and likewise Paul Carson’s Ambush. But I’ve been doing this a long time now, so I know the possibility of a big fat cheque hitting the bank is fairly remote.

Q7. Plans for the future?

Making the documentary is probably going to take me to the summer - I made one this time last year which was great fun, but this will be more challenging and will involve a little bit of acting, which is new to me. I am not expecting an Oscar any time soon. Also have hopes of directing a film, but just like the screenplays, you can’t be sure of anything until the cameras start rolling.

Q8. With regards to your writing career to date, would you do anything differently?

No, I think it has all worked out better than I could ever have imagined - there are things you might change, bridges I shouldn’t have burned, but there also a few I should have set fire to sooner! I’ve been very lucky. I spent a lot of my earlier years not having the confidence to put myself forward for things, I mean pre-writing, but the writing has really changed me and now I’m up for anything, which is why I’m prepared to have a go at directing or TV presenting or anything, apart from bungy jumping, because I’m not scared to fail. I just appreciate being given the chance. And it’s probably a Northern Irish thing where I don’t say I’m great at these things, but that I can at least be as bad as anyone else who tries them.

Q9. Anything you want to say that I haven’t asked you about?

Don’t get me started. Tibet, pollution, racism, poverty, these are some of the things I don’t really care about, as long as I’m okay.

Thank you, Colin Bateman!

A Wee review - Murphy's Law by Colin Bateman

Here's something slightly different for you. I thought it'd be interesting to get an English insight into a Northern Irish crime story. So I asked my good mate Mike Stone if he'd write a few reviews for me. Here's the first of them. He's got an interesting thought or two on Murphy's Law by Colin Bateman.

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“Detective Martin Murphy is undercover – and over here. The man loves the music – but it makes him think too much. He loves the drink – and it dulls everything.

What he really wants is to get back on the streets, doing what he does best. Fighting crime. But his medical file (already thick and growing fast) says he should be retired. Then his boss, Murdoch (one realistic eye on retirement, the other fantastically set on late-life promotion), offers him one final chance: to infiltrate a gang of diamond thieves. They are tough, violent and ruthless. And Murphy will fit in perfectly.”

From the paperback of Murphy’s Law:

My previous foray into the world of Bateman was Divorcing Jack, and while I thought it was good, it didn’t make me want to rush out and buy more books featuring the international man of inaction. Perhaps it was because the first Dan Starkey novel was too steeped in sectarian violence for my liking, or the Irish politics made it less accessible to an Englishman.

Perhaps.

However, the same cannot be said of Murphy’s Law: there’s violence aplenty, but it’s of the non-political, non-religious kind. So that’s all right, then. And in Marty Murphy we have a main character that is charming, witty and dangerous. A man all but destroyed by the murder of his young son and the ensuing collapse of his marriage, Murphy still possesses almost Holmesian powers of observation, can get a karaoke night swinging and deliver brilliant one-liners at the drop of a hat, even when there’s a gun barrel pressed to his head. He is a character with complex issues, but Bateman renders him so humanely we have no problem identifying with him.

Indeed, Bateman creates a sense of identity for all the supporting cast of Murphy’s Law -- the thieves, the cops, the priest, the bar manager -- without wasting words on tedious detail. That’s no mean trick and one I appreciated.

And the writing, ah, the writing is never less than superb. Take this simple yet effective line (I could have chosen any one of hundreds), where Murphy surprises his ex-wife at work:­ He says, “Lianne,” and she jumps. There’s an oh, you scared me look, a hint of warmth, then she remembers and the thunder mask descends. Even if we didn’t know anything about the Murphys, we could divine their past-relationship from this one line. Beautiful. Oh yes, and the whole book is written like that, in present tense. Some people don’t like it, arguing that present tense is best reserved for short fiction. And some folks dislike the sudden changes of POV, and I agree that head-swapping can lead to confusion at times. But hey, life’s too short to nitpick, and I have another Murphy book to read, Murphy’s Revenge.

And then doubtless I’ll return to Dan Starkey, to see if I missed something first time round. After this book, I’m thinking I must have.

Michael Stone

Michael Stone was born in 1966 in Stoke-on-Trent, England. Since losing most of his eyesight to Usher Syndrome, he has retreated from your world to travel the dark corners of inner space. To put it more prosaically, he daydreams a lot.

Read more about Michael and his fiction here.

A Wee Review - Orpheus Rising by Colin Bateman

(Colin) Bateman’s latest offering sees a big change in direction from the likes of his Dan Starkey series. Orpheus Rising still has that cool dry wit that the Bangor man employs with casual ease, but it’s less frequent and more understated in this novel. And for this particular story, it seems to be the perfect amount of humour. I think that Bateman had a story to tell and although it was very different than anything he’s tried before, he’s listened to his instincts and told it the way he thought best. I have to say, it worked a bloody treat.

I coasted through this book with utter ease and loved every sentence. It seems as if he’s really upped his game since I Predict a Riot. The writing is much denser than his usual minimalistic style, but I didn’t feel bogged down by description or superfluous detail. Each word counted. And so the result is a huge story that still manages to weigh in at a smidge under 400 hardback pages.

Orpheus Rising is the poignant tale of Michael Ryan, an Irish writer who found the love of his life under dramatic circumstances (involving a shark and grisly amputation) and lost her soon after to a violent death (even more violent than the shark thing). Without spoiling the plot for potential readers, I’ll tell you that we accompany Michael on his return to the Florida town of Brevard, ten years after he found happiness and had it ripped from him, to face up to the ghosts of his past.

I was very surprised by the supernatural content in Orpheus Rising. Again, I’m wary of spoilers and there’s not a lot you can talk about without robbing the book of some of its impact, so I’ll not go into how or why he uses it. Just trust me when I say, he does it with the aptitude of the likes of Stephen King or John Connolly, and I hope it’s an area he revisits in future work. He sets up a powerful world and sticks rigidly to his own rules, and the transition into suspension of disbelief is an easy one for the reader as a result.

His next book will see a return to form, with Mystery Man, a detective story set in the real No Alibis bookshop in Belfast, but featuring a fictional owner. Not David Torrans. But maybe in the book after next he’ll bend the boundaries of his chosen genre? I hope so. He does it very well.

Orpheus Rising is a rare example of a perfect book.

Bateman at No Alibis

Tonight I got to attend (Colin) Bateman's book launch for Orpheus Rising. There was free beer, but I had the car with me and it's still lent, so I had a healthy glass of mineral water. I also had the pleasure of listening to Mr Bateman read from the manuscript he finished today! How up to date am I? The newest one sounds a cracker, but until it hits the shelves, I've a signed copy of Orpheus Rising to keep me going. Can't wait to get stuck into it.

As he was signing my book, the man himself told me that he'd seen the new blog and thought it was a great idea. How do you like them apples? Um, Mr Bateman didn't say the apples thing, that was me acting smug. Did it come across okay?

I also picked up a signed first edition hardback of Brian McGilloway's Borderlands. It's a bloody great shop that No Alibis on Botanic Avenue, Belfast. Get yourself in there and buy some cool new books immediately!