Wednesday, 7 January 2009

If this ain't crime fiction...

Apologies for the poor image quality folks. Tried to convert the flier from PDF on photoshop. First time I've used it. No idea what I'm doing. The things you do when you should be writing. If you click on it, it's easier to read.

32 comments:

adrian mckinty said...

Did they email that to you? If so I got it too.

Is there still a Maze prison? I thought it was becoming some kind of GAA/Ulster ground or something.

Gerard Brennan said...

Adrian - Sam Millar sent me the flier originally. A little after that Mike Stone sent me his invitation from some PR guy to see if I'd like to go in his place. Seeing as you're in Melbourne and Mike's in Stoke-on-Trent (a mere jaunt away), I'd imagine you'll not make it either, then?

RE the Maze -- Still no agreement on whether or not they make it a stadium. I went on a tour of the old site last year with my parents and siblings. A couple of H-blocks and watchtowers were still standing, but they might be reduced again by now. I think the plan was to keep one block open as a museum of sorts and rebuild one of the towers nearby, leaving room for the stadium, or whatever else ends up there.

Cheers

gb

Colin said...

See they didn't invite me, despite Mohammed Maguire being almost entirely set in that establishment? Of course I do value my knees so wouldn't have made it anyway. Not that that kind of thing goes on any more. And Long Kesh? Politically biased from the start!*

* This statement has been sponsored by the Protestant Crime Writers Association of the Plantation of Ulster. You know it makes sense.

Gerard Brennan said...

Colin - Does the PCWAPU have a newsletter I can subscribe to? We're happy to promote all the nutters here at CSNI, regardless of political bias. It's all about the synergy, man.

Cheers

gb

adrian mckinty said...

Ger,

Hmmm thats interesting, I was in the Beaten Docket once (yes I know and I'm sorry and yes I was wearing a big girls blouse and Hugh Grant was with me) and round closing time this leary and vociferous fellow came to our table and staring going on about how we were all PC wankers. Years later I now see that it was an approach by the PCWAPU, I just couldnt follow the man's accent. Oh dear when I think of the joys and comradeship I missed out because of that road not taken...

Colin said...

Obviously a big prize to anyone who gets the character of PC Wapu into a crime story.

adrian mckinty said...

Colin

Wasnt he a replacement for PC McGarry who was sacked from the Trumpton PD after the Stalker Report? If I remember correctly Chow Yun Fat played PC Wapu in the movie version.

Gerard Brennan said...

So PC Wapu walks into The Beaten Docket...

gb

adrian mckinty said...

No, thats his credibilty blown already.

PC Wapu walks into the Borough Arms in Carrickfergus...

If he gets out of there in one piece he deserves to be Inspector Wapu.

Colin said...

PC Wapu arrests the serial killer known as the Tree Surgeon, and gets promoted to Special Branch?

Gerard Brennan said...

Adrian - A thought occurs. PC Wapu as Bullet Proof Monk Chow Yun Fat, rather than the gritty Hard Boiled or even Replacement Killers Chow Yun Fat, could lend a whole new dimension to his vist to the Borough Arms.

Colin - I want to groan, really I do, but that is pretty feckin' funny.

gb

adrian mckinty said...

Colin

Aside from your many cinematic, televisual and literary endeavours you havent just been made the editor of the Beano by any chance?

Colin said...

Yes, but it's now called The Effing Beano. And i've passed on your comment to Supt. Wapu, so expect to have your collar felt some time soon.

adrian mckinty said...

Desperate Dan's now a bulemic teen boy with unfocused rage issues living in Moss Side.

Gerard Brennan said...

Isn't Desperate Dan a Dandy man?

gb

adrian mckinty said...

ask Colin he's the expert

Colin said...

The Dandy, yes. Ah, how memories of the old country fade once you desert it.

Gerard Brennan said...

Bonus points for the first to name a Beezer character.

gb

adrian mckinty said...

Ger

You must be kidding me, surely we all remember Adrian the Barbarian! The only comic book character called Adrian until Watchman's Adrian Veidt.

Colin

Your sly dig did not go unnoticed.

Colin said...

It wasn't 'sly'. The first time I ever walked into a bar in New Orleans, all ready for the blues, there was what I can only describe as a 'c*nt' on stage singing 'I Wish I was in Carrickfergus', and I understood then what you clearly do not, that you can run, but you cannot hide from effing Carrick, or Larne, for that matter.

Gerard Brennan said...

Colin - Ta for I-Predict-A-Riot-ing the c-word.

Adrian - You're too clever for your own good. Muchos kudos.

gb

adrian mckinty said...

Colin

That was your chance to burst into the Star of the County Down. But did you? No. You were too busy cursing that fair town across the lough and perhaps wondering if it was the heat and humidity that was making your arm feel all prickly or was it finally that incipient heart attack you'd been warned about.

Ger

Not brains just a thoroughly thoroughly wasted childhood.

Colin said...

(1) The last time I heard The Star of County Down it was being sung by Van Morrison on the telly.
(2) Our fellow N. Ireland crime writer Paul Charles used to manage Van Morrison.
(3) Van Morrison and his band rehearse for tours in a hotel I can see from my study window.
(4) Last year Van and I were the only two customers in a cafe a couple of hundred yards from my house. I pretended not to recognise him, and he didn't know who the f**k I was.
(5) I love trivia, but it doesn't get the novel written.

Gerard Brennan said...

This is stopping you from writing? You're both barred!

gb

adrian mckinty said...

"study window"

"cafe"

oooh who's Mister Fancy Pants then?


Jesus, managing Van Morrison must have taken the patience of a saint.

Ger, this is what Freud calls "displacement activity" its a well known psychological phenomenon. It was also called "wanking off" by my US high school students though I suspect they didnt quite get the physical aspect of that particular bit of British slang.

Colin said...

Simply substitute 'cell' for 'study' and 'chip van' for cafe and that'll be it Carricked.

adrian mckinty said...

its funny because its true...sigh

adrian mckinty said...

ah but which town has the most nursing homes?

score 1 for carrick.

Colin said...

But we have wall to wall charity shops. And a lot of visitors from Carrick.

adrian mckinty said...

When I were a lad ah used to dream of visitin Bangor one day, was shining city on hill ta us. Nay lad, me old dad would say, Bangor's not for t' likes of us, so twas with stony heart went ta Whitehead instead.

seanag said...

Gerard steered me here to read the Colin Bateman/Van Morrison 'trivia'. You guys are all too funny, even when I don't get half the references.

Gerard Brennan said...

Seana - One or two references slipped me by too.

Cheers

gb