A Wee Review - Yours Confidentially by Garbhán Downey

Back in 2004 I read a Northern Irish political comedy titled Private Diary of a Suspended MLA, which told the story of an independent politician, Shay Gallagher, during the suspension of the Northern Ireland Assembly. Even though I was mostly brain-dead from a lack of sleep (my little girl Mya had just arrived), and it took me weeks to read the relatively slim tome, it always stuck in my mind as a book I should reread in a few years. Since then Garbhán Downey has released pretty much a book a year and I still haven’t reread it; though I will, if only to remind myself how insane the NI trip to a devolved government has been. However, 2008 sees the return of Shay Gallagher in Yours Confidentially, and I’m telling you right now, it’s the funniest book I’ve read this year. And I read a lot.

Yours Confidentially is the tale of North Derry assemblyman, Shay Gallagher’s, campaign to win a seat in the House of Commons. Success will give him a real voice among the big boys and lend him more weight to look after his constituency. Better expenses too. When his chief rival, Frank “Bent” Bennett suddenly drops out of the race, Shay’s moderate chance becomes a certainty, and then the trouble begins. Tommy has broken one of his agent’s most important rules. Never put anything down on paper. Never. But Shay argued it was safer to stick to paper and ink than computers. So Tommy bought him the most powerful shredder on the market to accommodate his argument. The Disintegrate 2000! But Shay is too sentimental, and he keeps all the letters from his fiancée Sue McEwan, a one-time political rival. Add to this the devious nature of the ex-loyalist gangster turned “legitimate” businessman, Victor “Switchblade Vic” McLaughlin with his ambition to own a pet MP and Shay’s in way over his head.

The subtitle, Letters of a would-be MP, is of the Ronseal school of thought. “It does exactly what it says on the tin.” The novel is in the form of a collection of letters, memos, emails and newspaper clippings. Each chapter has a paragraph or two of narration from Shay Gallagher’s agent, Tommy “Bowtie” McGinlay, but other than that Downey has restricted himself to a strict form and created a real challenge. Somehow, he manages to tell a tale with a verve and effortless style that knocked my socks off. I can’t believe how much story he fits in to a chronological collection of realistic correspondence. Sex, intrigue, violence, suspense... it’s all there. I think a big factor in Downey’s success is the trust he lends his audience to read between the lines and the letters. We’re not spoon-fed, and we’re certainly not patronised, although NI politics is a confusing subject, even for the folk that live here.

But I do think the novel could be enjoyed beyond this little province and I’d love to know how easy it reads in England, America or anywhere. Thankfully, Guildhall Press are an ambitious publishing house, and with enough marketing I don’t see why Yours Confidentially wouldn’t make its way overseas.

A glossary of terms wouldn’t hurt though. In fact, I might just compile an unofficial glossary myself in the coming days and post it here for those of you with the good sense to listen to me when I say, BUY THIS BOOK. If nothing else, it gives a pretty accurate introduction into the world of NI politics. Then you can tackle my cousin’s academic text -- Political Leadership and the Northern Ireland Peace Process by Cathy Gormley-Heenan -- to get further insight into the politicians who make unofficial cameos throughout the book.

So, Yours Confidentially is a laugh-out-loud-funny, fast-paced story and an entertaining education in the climate of Northern Ireland’s politics as at April 2008. A brilliant way to mark the tenth anniversary of the Good Friday Agreement.