Can’t Get No Sleep
Brian Morgan stood by the side
of the bed and looked down at his girlfriend. It wasn’t even
midnight and she was dead to the world. Still breathing, but dead to
the world.
He gripped the edges of his
pillow tight.
Rachel O’Hare didn’t snore.
Her breathing never seemed to catch a steady enough rhythm for it. At
random intervals she made a noise, somewhere between a sigh and a
moan. Brian wondered if that meant she was dreaming. And if so, did
she suffer the same nightmares he did.
“I love you, Rachel,” Brian
whispered, half-enamoured by the idea that she might be able to hear
him. “But sometimes I don’t know whether to kiss you or kill
you.”
And he meant every word of that
shitty cliché.
Even if he didn’t have the
guts to do the deed.
Brian gave his aching hands a
rest and hugged the pillow to his chest. He studied Rachel in the
faint strip of light cast by the bare bulb in the ensuite bathroom.
She still managed to look
pretty, even with sleep-lines, a slack jaw and a string of drool
running from the corner of her mouth to the pillowcase. Her face
would convince the most cynical that she was one of the innocent
ones. Brian knew different. So did his dead brother.
He rounded the bed and gently
laid his pillow down on his side of the queen-size. On his way to the
ensuite, the loose floorboard creaked. Rachel gasped and the mattress
springs clicked and boinged.
“Brian?”
“Aye.”
“Coming to bed?”
“Going to the toilet.”
“Come to bed after.”
“Aye.”
He had no intention of trying
to sleep. It didn’t matter. Rachel would have no recollection of
asking him by the morning. They’d been through this more than once
before.
Brian checked the mirror above
the sink and ran his hand over the stubble on his head. He still
wasn’t used to the look or the feel of his new haircut. The
clownish curls were gone for good. He appeared older, harder and more
serious than he felt. Maybe a little thinner too. He forced a smile
and saw the ghost of his old self in the reflection. Then he let the
well-worn frown take over again.
“More muscles to smile than
frown? My hole.”
He threw some toilet roll into
the bowl to soften the sound of his pissing. When he was done, he
shook off and tucked in, but didn’t flush. He washed his hands,
ignored the toothbrush and left the ensuite without pulling the cord
to turn off the light. Rachel preferred to sleep with it on. It would
suit him better if she didn’t feel the need to get up and turn it
back on again.
Brian made it down the stairs
with the balance and poise of an alley cat on a razor wire-topped
wall. He knew by now which ones made the most noise and how much
weight the handrail could take before the loosened spindles groaned.
In the kitchen, he closed the
door gently, took a bottle of beer from the fridge and his tobacco
tin from the medicine cupboard. He popped the beer open with his
teeth and thumbed the lid off his tobacco tin. There was plenty of
Golden Virginia, and a couple of packets of rolling papers. He didn’t
realise he was so low on weed, though.
Stony Tony
Tony Barnes clicked pause on
the instructional video. He backed away from his laptop to give
himself enough space to perform the move. The Praying Mantis
techniques seemed a little easier to pick up than the Crane styles
he’d been studying the day before. The wide stance better suited
his lower centre of gravity and there were fewer high kicks. He
really needed to work on his flexibility. The ability to perform an
impressive roundhouse kick was a must if he wanted to attract
prospective students.
He held his hands up in a
classic boxing guard then hooked his wrists so that his fully
extended fingers pointed to the ground. Already he felt like the
noble praying mantis. The technique looked dead flash without being
too difficult. He’d download a few more of this particular kung fu
master’s videos to emulate.
Tony unleashed a flurry of
strikes. He wasn’t entirely sure, but he had a suspicion that he
might break his own fingers if he hit somebody with his hands angled
this way. That wouldn’t be good. He went back to the desk and took
his spliff out of the ashtray. It needed to be relit. He sparked it,
drew deep and thought about Praying Mantis kung fu. It looked the
part, but he wasn’t totally sold that it would work for him. Still,
it’d be a nice wee demo technique.Maybe try some Tiger style next.
Tony rattled the phrase into
his search engine and clicked on the first result. It amused him that
so many of these supposed kung fu masters were American. Where were
all the little old wise Chinese men?
He bookmarked a video that
featured a man with an impressive biker’s beard and a solid round
gut that was just a little bigger than his own. The joint had burned
down to the roach. He took a last pull that almost roasted his lips
and held it in his lungs for half a minute. His vision darkened at
the edges and he exhaled.
Time to roll a fresh one.
Tony pulled open the desk
drawer to grab his bag of weed and his papers. He tutted when he saw
that there was barely enough in there to fill a single-skinner. His
stash was tapped out. He’d have to skim a little off the stock.
Don’t get high on your own
supply? Bullshit. Spread the skim over enough baggies and he’d be
sweet. A true stoner customer wouldn’t sweat it even if they did
figure out their deal was a little light.
But he’d have to call Malachy
about topping up his personal stock.
His mobile rang. He drew the
knackered Nokia out of the pocket of his silk Chinese suit, checked
the caller ID and smiled.
“Malachy. I was just thinking
about you.”
“And did money feature in
those thoughts?”
“Yeah, sort of. I need more
stock.”
“You still owe me for the
last three orders.”
Three?
He hadn’t realised he’d gotten that deep into debt. He forced a
confident and cheery tone.
“Yeah, yeah. No worries there
at all, man. I’ll sort you out. Expecting the cash to flow in when
I start this new thing I’ve gotten into. Soon as I get paid the
money’s going straight to you.”
“You’re telling me to wait,
then? Hold off a few days? Is that it?”
“I’d never tell
you to do anything, Malachy.”
“Great. I’ll be there
soon.”
Malachy cut the call and Tony
slipped his mobile back into his pocket. He looked about his living
room. The only thing of real value was his laptop. And it was a year
old. Depreciating by the second. He needed it, too. It was his
gateway to the world of kung fu. Without it, he couldn’t keep
abreast of the techniques he would teach when he opened his club.
Tony hit play on the Tiger
style video. He hoped to God it was effective and easy to pick up.
Want more? Visit the Blasted Heath website for ebook links.
But you might want to read The Point first.
But you might want to read The Point first.
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